Wednesdays=Confessions. So, here goes:
I confess…
I was really surprised at the great comments I received last week to my more off-beat post. After I wrote it, I worried a bit that I was going to come off as weird, but all of your thoughtful comments made me so happy I shared. And, just in case you were wondering…all comments make me happy, but it feels extra good to be supported when you second guess yourself! I was pleasantly surprised.
I confess…
The social side of blogging has been the hardest for me to get comfortable with and understand what the social norms/expectations are. Lauren of Eat, Drink, and Be Lauren wrote a post last week about unfollowing blogs that really got me thinking, and lead me to wonder about people’s reading and commenting habits. Here are three questions that came to mind (I have a ton more but thought I would keep it simple, in hopes of actual answers):
- How many blogs do you read consistently (or what is a sane number to follow)? Lauren also wrote a post, “What Is Your Number” where she posed this very question…so I’m glad I’m not the only one curious.
- Is it common practice to comment on someone’s blog that commented on your blog or is this a weird practice? I personally do and think of it as a common courtesy, plus it is like an extra little thank you. Comments are like smiles, they make people feel good 🙂 But, then this brings us to my next quandary.
- I follow you, you follow back versus being authentic and real. Should we just go and follow a blog because they follow you, getting followers makes a blogger happy too or should we be more selective, only follow those bloggers we feel we can connect with…where is the balancing line? I don’t really have a set guideline myself on this one. I’m still new to the blogging world and I’m trying to find a good balance and what feels right for me.
I confess…
I often wonder what is the appropriate level of tipsy is to be responding to comments or commenting. Should you cut yourself off from all online activity after three drinks? Do you have a personal rule? I actually drink a lot less than my blog portrays. Full honesty here, I whoop it up weekends and vacations. Drinking at 10 am on vacation, yes….three drinks at lunch, ok. But, during a normal week I will maybe have 1 or 2 drinks at our weekly dinner out and maybe drink 4-7 drinks total for a weekend. Sometimes, I think because most outings includes a drink, it gives the impression that we are all drinks over here…though there is no shame, either way. I just thought I would clarify. 😉
I confess…
Maybe I should just name my Wednesday’s post “Things that make me go hmmmm.” or maybe instead of “I have a lot of problems with you people”, “I have a lot of questions for you people”. Too much pop reference in one little paragraph?
Check out what other confessions are hitting the pages this week!
Also, I have a guest feature today over on The Hemborg Wife, while Bailie is out enjoying adventures in England. Make sure to pop over and check it out…PRETTY PLEASE 🙂
Confession time for real: I used to read 50+ blogs regularly and comment on almost every post from about a dozen bloggers…then I started to get burnt out and realized that I didn’t always have something important to add. I loved those relationships but I realized that I didn’t have to comment on every single thing in order to keep them, and that there were different ways to support other bloggers–including a post in a link roundup, sending an email saying their stuff is great, tweeting a link to it.
I do try to always reply to comments on my blog. I visit those blogs in turn and often will find great new blogs to read this way, but sometimes (for example) someone is a fashion blogger, which isn’t a genre I read a lot of, so I may skim their posts and pin something but I don’t necessarily comment. I do try to though; I think that’s a nice gesture too!
Thanks for sharing your insight Alicia! I started off using the “if you read it, you should comment” rule, but that was overwhelming. I’m still working on discovering blogs so I add a lot of new blogs to my must read list (I have about 100), but if I find myself checking read too often or I can’t connect with their posts I will eventually delete them. I’m sure my process will continue to change. Hope your move goes well!
I always love posts about blogging, and yours is no exception! There’s been a lot on this topic in blogland this week, you have your finger on the pulse girl!
Anyway, so many good questions. I’m a bit of a lurker like some of the other ladies here, in that I read and only comment occasionally. Mainly because I don’t always have something to say. So far I’ve been able to respond to all comments, and I try to visit theirw blogs – but I will only comment/follow if I genuinely like them.
I don’t like clutter, and I don’t want a bunch of blogs in my feed that I don’t really read. It’s too overwhelming!
Honestly, I have no clue what my number is. Maybe I’ll copy Lauren and count one day!
First, I LOVE THAT YOU POSTED A C&C MUSIC FACTORY VIDEO!!! Just too much fun right there. I try and only follow blogs that I can relate to, are interesting, and make me laugh. I usually will flow a blog for a month or two and sometimes I unfollow if I’m just not feeling it. When I comment or follow someone else’s blog I really don’t expect it back. I’d rather have people that actual just dig my ramblings follow me than feel obligated that’s dumb. It’s like in Steel Magnolias when her mom makes her have her cousin’s as bridesmaids 😉 LAME.
Hmmm…if your blog is a little more anonymous and your drinking and typing – do it! But if your face is on there, I would probably so more discretion.
XOX….Things that make you go Hmmm….mini dance party.
If someone comments on my blog, plain and simple I return the love! I mean, they took the time to come to me, so I must take the time to go to them!! 🙂 I want to support as much as I can. As for what kind of comments I leave. I tend to sound drunk ALL THE TIME… But… I don’t drink. Nope. Not even a drop. Nadda. Nilch. So yeah, there you have it. My commenting practices. I love catching up on all my bloggy friends latest deets!
So many good thoughts in this post. I’m still trying to figure out the magic number of people to actually follow. I follow something like 100 blogs on Bloglovin, but a lot of them don’t post every day and a lot of them are travel, adventure, recipe, and design blogs that I skim over, save, or pin for later reference. When it comes to actual blog type blogs, I think there are about twenty of them that I actually read, and just a handful of those that I read and comment on with any regular frequency.
As for the comments, I do like trying to figure out what kind of folks are reading and commenting on my blog, and I’ll go stalk them through their stuff. If it’s interesting, I comment and let them know. If not, I usually just engage them on their original comment. I reply to all my comments, but a comment on a blog just feels like something you should save for when you actually mean that comment, and want the person to feel like you’re actually looking for a conversation.
definitely something to ponder.
I try to comment on every person’s blog who have visited my blog. Most of the people who comment, are blogs that I read everyday anyway. I do get some new ones, and that’s fun, because I always like finding new blogs to read.
I occasionally write a post called Things That Make Me Go Huh. There are a lot of odd things in this world, you see.
HAHAHA i love that pin about being popular online.
no drinks and blogging for me! i say things that i regret.. almost every time!! i don’t know if i have a specific number of blogs that i follow. i have a TON on feedly .. way more than i could ever read. i think i go through phases of reading and commenting a lot of blogs and phases where i don’t do any of it. i do try my best to respond to all the comments on my own blog though.
Hahahah… I have yet to drunk comment – sounds like a good idea for this weekend though! ;P
I’m all for drunk commenting. Please do!! I try so hard to keep up with responding/making comments but sometimes life just gets in the damn way and I fall off the wagon. I try to at least hop on over to the other person’s blog though to give them a shout-out to let them know I’m reading their posts :).
I have the same drinking habits as you although I usually only go out once during the weekend. Maybe more in the summer… and I try not to blog/comment after two drinks as I am a big sharer after that!
I don’t follow or read everyone that follows or reads me,but I will try them out usually to see if I should be reading them.
I don’t think there is a correct number of blogs to follow. My biggest criteria for following a blog is whether I can relate to the blogger and whether or not the blogger inspires me. I also noticed that this is ever changing as I became a blogger myself. Initially I followed some very successful and HUGE interior design and fashion blogs…but I started to realize that rather than walking away inspired, I always felt dissatisfied with myself and my home when I was done reading (I am totally aware this is my own issue and not the bloggers, haha). Now I give myself a few months to try out a new blog and if I don’t feel like I can connect with them, I stop reading. Regardless of etiquette you have to do what is best for yourself =)
When I first started blogging I regularly commented on at least 20 plus blogs a day. Most days now, I read a select few blogs that are my favorites or posts that are shouted out on twitter that look interesting. Also, I obviously read posts that are included in linkups I do! 🙂 I think you just have to do what feels right to you… I never follow someone simply because they follow me. However, if they follow me and I explore their blog and think I’d be interested, I follow. I don’t want my numbers inflated by a bunch of “guilty-followers” so to speak so I really don’t do the same to others most of the time. Does that even make sense? HA!
-Kate
http://www.theflorkens.com
HAHA yes too it all! And I love that first photo btw lolol!! I think it is totally courteous and a necessary to leave comments on blogs that leave comments for you! And I have questioned the whole how many drinks thing, and I find blogging/commenting/tweeting after a few drinks is a no-no for me! I seriously sound like an idiot lol! Great post girl!! 😉 XOXO
Lisa,xo
I never expect to have people comment back on my blog even if I’ve commented on theirs. Yes, it’s nice when it happens, and there are definitely some people I have a “blog crush” on (as in, I imagine that we could totally be BFFs in real life based on the personality shining through the blog – weird, right?) so I get super excited when I hear back from them. But if my blog can’t stand on its own two feet and retain readers even without me commenting on other sites, then I need to reevaluate my writing style, my blog’s message, etc.
I don’t comment on every blog post. I do a lot of lurking, but definitely make the effort to comment when a post really resonates with me.
As for tipsy/drunk commenting… why not? 😛 Most bloggers are friendly and light-hearted. Drunk-commenting is the new drunk-texting!
I comment back to bloggers that comment on my posts. Who doesn’t like comments? I just want them to know I appreciate them stopping by! I have no cutoff for tipsy responses. I think my drunk responses are the most hilarious ones!
I don’t really drink, but I see dangerous things happening if I were to comment on blogs after a few drinks. HAHA!
I’ve been so busy lately, so I’ve had to be extra picky when it comes to reading blogs. I have a few that I read all the time, but I also try to read those who comment on my blog. I think that’s fairly common. Maybe that’s just me? But I must admit that if I don’t connect with a blog I might not even comment. Hah.
This is a really good topic. I say that people should do whatever they want to do. I use to literally read lots of blogs, but I don’t have time for that really, and it got exhausting. If you look on my list of blogs that I read, that list has changed consistently. Like Lauren spoke about, I would follow blogs that I loved, and then, eventually, either because of time or just because of changing interests, I am no longer interested in reading that blog consistently. I don’t believe in the follow for follow, although at first I did fall prey to that. Because I don’t make money from my blog, the numbers don’t necessarily matter to me as much as the content I produce, if that makes any sense. I do want to build a “community” but it’s not that realistic for me since I leave and disappear every so often.
People say there is blog etiquette, but I think it’s just treating people the way you would like to be treated. Also, I think that people can be too sensitive. Who cares if you get unfollowed? I hope people realize that there is life beyond blogging, even though for some it is their source of income, and that the majority of bloggers don’t subsist on blogging alone, even if writing is their passion. I haven’t taken it personally when I saw someone unfollow; naturally, I wonder what I may have done, but I realize that I am not the focus of that person’s universe and it could be something totally unrelated to me specifically- blog spring cleaning anyone?- or maybe they can’t relate to me, and I get that. A lot of people couldn’t relate to me being a female in the military.
I comment regularly on blogs that I visit regularly. If the person also does the same to me, I am assuming that they like my content- or I’m hoping. But I would rather the comment be sincere and genuine than be a “gratitude” comment, if that makes sense? I understand that some posts don’t really have an interactive aspect and thus don’t need comments, other than “nice photos” or “food looks great”! I follow quite a few blogs because of the photography and travel content, and, really, what would a comment from me offer?
So I’ve just hijacked your blog post, and now I will stop commenting! Sorry! But I hope I offered some good insight for you. Basically, do whatever YOU want, and you don’t need to care about “blog etiquette” (well, unless you are being really rude, but that’s not you, so you don’t have anything to worry about!). -Jess L
i will return the comment love to blogs who comment on mine; it’s the right thing to do. i read about 15 blogs consistently that are in my “favorite” folders and 99% of the time, they will get a comment from me. and drunk commenting is totally allowed 🙂
haha that song! i always try and comment on a blog that has commented on mine, and i confess i follow people if they follow me but i unfollow if i dont like them. i have very strong opinions about some things and i think that everyone should leave everyone alone and not shove their opinions down other peoples throats – so normally i unfollow or dont comment if i just cant relate / strongly disagree with what they post. if that makes sense. i read super fast and read A LOT of blogs every day so my number is probably crazy high. oops.
I LOVE “I have a lot of problems with you people” because if you read my post today, that’s about what 80% of it is. Because I’m kind of a jerk…
Thanks for the mention! I know you and I have talked about this but I don’t know if we discussed the third point. I don’t follow everyone back who follows me. Someone told me early on that just because someone likes me doesn’t mean I have to like them, so I think it applies both ways. Even though I send thoughtful comment responses to those people, many of them still unfollow eventually which makes me sad but also shows that I’m just another number to them. Of course I want good stats, but I follow a blog for good content, not because they already have 1000 other followers, so I try to keep that in mind. We could seriously email about this all day and i wouldn’t get tired of it. Bring it!
And I think my best posts happen after a few glasses of wine but sometimes my comment responses are rambly and make no sense. But at least they might be entertaining?
drunk commenting should totally be allowed. Sign me up that would be fun! And I have a lot of blogs I read consistently, I think its up to you really.
I like at least clicking over on blogs that have commented on mine because it’s a great way to discover new ones! But i’ll be honest, I am such a lurker sometimes. There are so many blogs that I enjoy reading that if I took time to comment on every single one, then I wouldn’t have the time to read about half the number that I do. So a lot of the time…I’m there….but to commenting. (Making me sound like a cyber-creeper…) x
I think people should stay away from any kind of social media activities once they’ve had too much to drink. I’d know, cos I’ve done seemingly fun things when I am drunk and regretted it once I’m sober. Hahahaha.