As I’ve said in past blog posts, one of my big reasons for starting this blog was to put the childfree perspective out there and as I approach a year, I realize I’ve failed. I’ve said time and time again, I need to do more on childfree and I just haven’t. Here are my excuses for said failure:
- I don’t want to be offensive. I don’t like to make it is an “us versus them” mentality, because that is not how I feel. I don’t think less of those with kids or judge them for their decision, the same way I hope they don’t mine. Just because I say how great it is not to have kids does not mean I am attacking your way of life or decisions. I realize I can’t control how others think and if they want to twist something into an attack then that is their problem, not mine. I have to get out of my own head and not worry about what others may or may not think about a topic. I am proud to be childfree.
- I find it hard to think of childfree topics that are not obvious. If I present it in my voice and in my way, who cares if it is obvious, right? Look at the mommy sites, they write lots of obvious perspectives on having children, why don’t I do that as a childfree lifestyle blogger? For some reason I had this boxed-in idea of presenting my perspective at too high of a standard.
- Part of me thinks this blog is about my life, my life is childfree, do I really need to press the topic? The thing is, that when I don’t write about it directly, it gets hidden. I want to capture the attention of those readers who are feeling left out or alone in the sea of mommy bloggers. I have to write about it directly for it to be noticed.
This is changing starting today. Expect more tongue in cheek posts like this one, but I also want to dig deeper. So, dear reader, I need your help:
What childfree topics do you want addressed or questions you want answered on the topic? Any other suggestions on how to better serve the childfree reader?
Make sure to check out the Childfree Are We page for other childfree blogs. If you would like to be included on the page, please let me know.
P.S. Here is a little button to identify yourself as a childfree blogger if you are so inclined. The button links back to the Childfree Are We page.
Write what you want to write about! Write about what you feel passionate about!! Write about anything that inspires you and if being childfree is one of them, then pour your heart out about the topic!
My husband and I are also childfree – it is something we want, but has never happened yet! In all honesty, we are also happy and content with it being just the two of us – we can go where we want, when we want! We also realize that we have each other so we are grateful for that.
I once had one of my older students point out that my husband and I are ‘DINK.’ I had no idea what he was talking about and he told me to google it. I thought it was some Taiwanese thing but actually it is apparently a very common saying (I guess I have been living abroad a long time and it shows)!
Hope you are having a great weekend!
Gurl, you do do.
I know that you’ve touched on it before but I would love to see how you handled all the, I would use the term, harassment when you were single. If you even knew then. I’m 100% set on not having kids, yet 100% set on getting married (yet am 100% single, heh). I am told time and time again that I’ll change my mind and it makes me want to pull out my hair. How did you deal with that when you were single? Or the, what if your husband wants kids question? Or from your mom, what did I do wrong when you were growing up? I would love to see that post.
I agree that people should hold no judgement either way. You just keep on living your life the way you want to!
Being a childfree person myself, I didn’t even really notice that you avoided child-topics. (Mostly because I rarely read mommy blogs or anything similar.)
I understanding where you are coming from, it is how I feel writing about Sweden and being an immigrant it is just who I am and so hard to blog about without sounding overly biased or snotty.
i definitely feel left out!! I usually never know what to say when it’s all mommy / baby posts. loved reading your holiday post. more plz! 🙂 There’s so much obvious or recycled content out there.. but the diff is it’s in your voice. I read a quote somewhere that.. yes people may have done the same things or posted the same pictures of the same places.. but looking at their photos is not the same as you experiencing it. i think blogging is the same way. it’s not the same when you write about it.
Yes, more tongue-in-cheek posts please! They are my favourites. Don’t force yourself though, just write about being childfree whenever it feels right and the mood strikes you.
I like ALL your stuff! You’re a good writer… any topics you pick will be interesting because of THAT! 🙂
I would love to read more childfree posts! More often than not when I read childfree stuff it becomes more about parent-bashing than the actual topic of being childfree. It will be refreshing to have more positive childfree voices out there in the blogosphere and interwebs!
Maybe an entire post dedicated to some of the more hilarious reasons you’ve been given for why you and P should have babies? There are folks out there who get a little hot under the collar when you tell them you’ve decided not to become a parent. I know that I have some really interesting tales on the subject (being 38, married, & childfree.) Some people try to reason with you, many explain everything you’re missing, some just really want to know what’s wrong with you, “why are you so selfish, why don’t you want kids”… It’s endearing really (well, besides the latter, because there’s nothing wrong with not choosing the path to parenthood, nor is it an entirely selfish choice… well crap, now I’m bashing?) But, you know they love their children and it’s a special part of their life, and they don’t want you to miss out on the experience. I just shake my head and smile; they seriously just don’t get it… Then I meet someone who “gets it”, like yourself (cause not only do I follow your blog, but you’re my real-life friend too) and it’s just really cool, a kindred ship if you will. It’s like that quote I see on Pinterest: “When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks, but celebrate them with glad cries of ‘me, too’, be sure you cherish them, because those weird-o’s are your tribe!
It’s just good to know you have a tribe… thank you for being a part of mine and I’m looking forward to some more childfree posts! 🙂
childfree is awesome, just as having kids are awesome for the most part so whatever post you write i’ll read 🙂
as louis ck said: having kids is hard because it’s fucking boring LOLOLOLOL. in a way, all parents think so (even though bitches won’t admit it) but at the same time, you have a hard time seeing your life without those little snotballs!
honestly I had no idea you were a ‘childfree blogger’ thats how much its been hidden 😉 i just figured you didn’t have kids. i personally DO want kids one day, so i guess we can’t be friends anymore? jk!! in the same way that i don’t like to read ‘mommy bloggers’ where all they talk about is being a mother (because i can’t relate, yet) but even if you were to write about it a bunch i wouldn’t think you would be attacking me at all, but it is hard to relate to.. not not hard to relate to, forgive me me and words aren’t great 😉 i can understand people who don’t want to have kids, i can’t relate to mommy bloggers yet because i’m not a mother. i am childfree and it is my choice, but i do want kids. am i making sense? i can’t ‘relate’ to not wanting kids but i can understand it. i like your blog and i’ll continue to read it anyway, i think the only way i wouldn’t is if you were patrionising or said the people who did want kids are wrong – which as you have said is absolutely not what you’re about – i’m all about everyone can do whatever they want – religion, children, whatever i really don’t give a flying fox, just let me do what i want, you know? don’t push it on me, i won’t push it on you. not that you are, but i hope you know what i mean.
Hmmm… I think this is a hard topic to write on, and I commend you for trying to do so. I got married saying nope, no children. As I get older, I find myself less firm in that opinion (but definitely not planning for anything anytime soon!). My personal reasons for not having kids are all admittedly, very selfish (I can do what I want, diapers are gross, I can sleep in). I would like to read more deep reasons about why not having children is the right choice for you. Maybe how you came into that decision, and how you respond to some of the people who say that you MUST have them (ie who will take care of you when you’re old, etc.). And maybe, if it’s worth sharing, the whys for you and your husband – are there any specific reasons why you both share this opinion, how early did you share this with each other, stuff like that. Basically I’m nosy so feel free to spill your guts 🙂
And “who will take care of you when you’re old?” should be in quotes since you’ve likely heard that from others. It wasn’t ME asking you because like Steph said below, it really isn’t something I feel the need to read about, but if you feel it’s an underserved niche, then these are my thoughts!
Being a child-free person, I don’t feel the need to read more about it, or to have my life validating through posts. It can be a polarizing topic for some people, but it’s not for me. Children are just something I don’t have, and I’m okay with that.
All that to say write what you want, if it’s personal to you I’ll read it.
I just can’t stand babies/kids so I love childfree posts. Whatever you write, I’ll read!