February was a blur of a month with a sharp punctuation. It was a fog, something that begs to be wiped away, but never will be. February will forever be the marked by the passing of P’s mom. It was a long month, it was a short month (much too short), it was stressful, sad, but also held laughs, new faces, family ties, and reminders of dear friendships.
All we can do is move forward, live life, and carry the memories of those no longer physically with us. It’s hard for me to express my emotions and particularly to write them out. P’s mom had battled cancer for a long time. We thought 2014 was closing the door on the surgeries, the chemo, all of that…positive prognosis. Friends would always ask after P’s mom and we enthusiastically said, oh yes she is doing well. So, the events of this month were a huge shock, a slap in the face. The cancer struck back in a new form, unexpected and very fast. We spent most of February back in NC, and we are so grateful for that time with P’s mom & family. It’s time that was well spent and we were lucky to have. As the family pastor said, “we stand in a place between relief and grief”, and that statement really struck me as profound. Life goes on, we look forward to brighter days, and hold onto the better memories. It’s all you can do.
It somehow felt false not to put something here, not to acknowledge the loss and dark shadow in our lives. P and I share much of our lives on these pages, like our big move, trips, dates, hopes/fears, so I felt compelled to put something down. I have not been here this month; I haven’t really written, commented, or read…so this is the why.
I’m leaving comments closed for this post. It’s me, not you.