I have a lot of problems with you people, and I’m looking at you parents. Alternatively this also could have been titled “How Parents are Ruining My Dining/Drinking Experience” 🙂
Just because I do not have a child does not mean I can’t or won’t judge parents. It is not necessarily due to having a child or not having child, it’s called common sense/common decency. Sure the card of “you don’t know what you will or won’t do until you have kids of your own” is often played, but that’s an easy bow out of bad behavior. I’m sorry, but your life does not and should not continue exactly how it was prior to you having a child, those days are behind you and you need to start making adjustments. Here are a few examples of some parenting behaviors I’ve witnessed lately and said umm no….
- Allowing my kids to run around a restaurant, any restaurant. Particularly where bodily harm is very likely while I sit barely within eyesight, enjoying my drink and conversation. It’s not Chuck E Cheese. A patio does not equal a playground. Which seems to be a confusion many parents make.
- I would not host a table full of kids at a very crowded brewery. Second weekend this place was open, so of course it was slammed. There was a table of 3 adults and 7 kids. Yes, the place offered food, but come on. You know it is going to be busy, it’s late Saturday afternoon. Also, they were just hanging out, clearly they were finished eating by the mess on the table, but they just stayed even through a huge party of VERY drunk folks had taken over the whole area. If I had a child I would not have been comfortable in that situation.
- Take my kid to dinner after 7:30. There is very few reason you should be dragging a child under the age of one out to dinner past 7:30. You just shouldn’t, especially at any place that has waitstaff and accepts reservations.
- Breastfeeding at a brewery while drinking beer. This just seems wrong.
- Allowing my kid who can barely even stand up or walk, place their own order. Sure, they have to learn to make decisions on their own, but a line out the door at a coffeeshop is not that time. Pick and choose your moments parents!
- Exclaiming very loudly and repeatedly to my husband, how cute my child is and then looking around to see if anyone at neighboring tables will say it. I was “this” close to start repeatedly saying to P in a loud voice, “Doesn’t my hair look great today, I mean it’s just so great!” I also would not announce to a neighboring table (of strangers) that I was going to start trying for another one in two weeks when the first one is exactly one. But hey, maybe that’s just me being a prude. It is possible this woman was this way before they had the kid, and she would be telling her husband really loudly how great her hair looked instead of how cute the kid was 🙂
Alternately you could replace kid with a really drunk friend and I would feel the same…..
- Allowing my drunk friend to run around a restaurant.
- Not for this one, because it’s a bar and that’s where drunks belong 🙂
- Getting smashed and then going to a really nice fancy restaurant…and I don’t mean tipsy I mean shit-faced.
- Allowing my drunk friend to crash a Chuck E Cheese party. (not exactly the same but a bit along the same lines, this one could also be used for the second one)
- Allowing drunk friend who can barely stand order food.
- Drunk person yelling during a meal about how cute anything is and/or who they may fuck later.
Well, that’s my airing of grievances for today. Anything you want to air?
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Haha! Hilarious and so on point. Seriously people. Get it together.
Thanks Amy!! Yes, people need to get it together for sure 🙂 I’m guessing you are back. Looking forward to reading about your trip!
I’ve worked at a few different restaurants in my time and it never fails to shock me how oblivious parents are. I have witnessed kids run around a restaurant BAREFOOT, and then the parents be upset when the kid accidentely step on broken glass…sorry parents, it’s a restaurant, stuff falls on the floor.
I’ve also had where I was carrying a pot of coffee and had a little kid jump down two stairs and literally land into my shins, obviously tripping me up, and I splashed coffee everywhere. Thankfully the kid avoided the hot coffee, but the parents were upset with me that I almost burnt their child….how ’bout remind your kid that this is not a play room!
You’ve totally nailed this one on the head! Love this post!!
-Linds
Thanks Lindsay!! OMG I would have lost it on them over the coffee, I’m doing my job which does not include monitoring your child, that’s your job!! There should be some kind of test (like you take for driving or owning a gun) before you have a kid (LOL!).
“I’m sorry, but your life does not and should not continue exactly how it was prior to you having a child, those days are behind you and you need to start making adjustments.”
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN. Kids are not toys, kids are not sidekicks on your adventures, kids are KIDS. They’re a responsibility and they require a lot of time, teaching, and care. The thing that kills me is that a lot of folks letting their kids run wildly about are the same ones who wouldn’t get a dog because it would take too much time out of their schedule to take care of, and somehow they think their kids won’t do the same thing.
I want a kid someday {I’m not committing right now to more than one} but I know it’s going to be a shift in the way I live my life. I will totally treat my kid like that drunk friend – to be escorted home at the first sign of a temper tantrum and not to be let out of the house when they’re in rare form.
I know, many people act like it is just an accessory not a life change 🙂 Yes, if you can’t handle a dog, you are going to be challenged with a child. There are plenty of people who parent appropriately and do take their child out if there is a problem, but it’s hard to ignore those who don’t and I think it is becoming more common.
You want to know who agrees with you more than anyone in the whole universe: THE SERVERS.
I am NOT there to babysit. If you think that, then your tip should reflect that. In fact, if you bring in a child, I should automatically get 25% because I’m already going to have to do more work, like sweeping up all those fucking Cheerios your child could not get into his or her not and mopping up the water spill because you let your child play with an uncapped cup filled with liquids.
Mic drop.
LOL, mic drop! Oh I know servers definitely have the short-end of the stick on kids vs restaurant. Not only to you get to deal with the mess and the danger, but you get other people’s annoyance at the situation…it’s a no win. I worked a this restaurant my senior year of HS and the owner would not make reservations if someone said they had kids after 6:00 🙂 b/c they had such as small space.
I think having to see and deal with bratty, snotty, and horrible peoples’ kids is another reason why I decided to not have them at my age! Sometimes I don’t think parents should spare the rod, but too often they do! I wonder if kids with a sense of entitlement or no sense of rules or boundaries are the ones who were never spanked or punished….
Also add to this list of annoyances: when parents don’t take their screaming, crying, whining kid out of a room during a speech, ceremony, or movie. -Jess L
Yes!!! Just get up and walk outside, to spare the rest of the room!!! Some people just feel like they are entitled to just do whatever they want, and that extends to their kids too. It’s another branch of being self-centered/rude. The having to deal with other people’s children is yet another item on my long list of reasons not to have kids 🙂
Can I just say that I love how you compare kids with a drunk friend? It’s totally true. And I agree 100% on all of these things. My sister-in-law and her husband…omg don’t even get me started. I need a drink just thinking about it.
LOL!! It’s can be tough dining with family. My husband and I once picked an inappropriate place for brunch when we didn’t know his brother and wife (plus 3 kids) would be joining us…it was a very non-relaxing brunch for all. We couldn’t back out to a new place either b/c I had made a BIG deal about us having to go to this place when I thought it was just going to be my husband’s parents. I need a drink just remembering it 🙂
Amen! My goodness I’m so pleased I am not the only one who feels this way! Eating out when there are families around can be so off – putting. I have asked to be moved in the past because i got so fed up with kids on the table next to us being do badly behaved – I’m paying for a meal I want to enjoy it. If and when I have a child they will know how to behave when eating out! Great post!
You are 100% not alone, I so happy too that I’m not the only one!! Yes, kids can certainly be in restaurants without causing a fuss. My father sent me a message saying that my brother and I were always well behaved in restaurants, so I guess it’s possibly true 🙂
Yes, yes and YES!! My sentiments exactly. Sometimes I fear that I’m becoming a bitter old doglady who’s just griping about “the youth these days” – reading that you feel the same way is a huge relief!
This post was awesome. More of these, please!
Oh, and thank you SO SO much for linking up!
Of course, I haven’t had a post on Wednesday for a while. Yes, you are certainly not the only one feeling that way Miriam!!! When I get to chose my own table at a restaurant, I will pick the table furthest from children (good or bad behaved) 🙂
As a fellow child free person I agreed with all of this. One Valentine’s Day we went to an expensive restaurant at the Disney Animal Kingdom hotel and the table next to us let their kids run around the place while they kept on drinking. The worst part is that the hotel had a family friendly buffet right across the hall.
Oh no, what a damper on a special night out! I bet kids in nice restaurants are less common in DC 🙂
There are kids in my future, but the behavior you described is definitely inappropriate! I’ve witnessed some really well-behaved parents and children at breweries and wineries; I don’t mind them. But when your kid is a hooligan (and don’t tell me he’s an angel because deep down inside you KNOW little Johnny’s thicket of hair is hiding horns!), you should not be letting him run wild at the adult’s playground – because that’s exactly what a winery/brewery/insert other adult-like places are. As for drinking a beer while breastfeeding, um, ew. In moderation I don’t think a minuscule amount of alcohol will hurt a kid via breastfeeding, but I’m really not comfortable with women breastfeeding in public anyway. Hard to enjoy my food when there’s a big ol’ boob flashing me across the room. 😉
I know everyone doesn’t parent this way, thank god!! You are right, it’s our playground and we don’t want to share 🙂 It has been getting out of hand lately when kids make-up half the brewery crowd. One brewery said someone brought in 7 kids with them (this place doesn’t serve food and they only have about 4 tables+bar in their interior part), he said, “I have kids and we are a community place but don’t take up my only air-conditioned tables with non-paying customers.” It is just not appropriate sometimes.
Absolutely agree!
I’m in 100% agreement that you don’t get to live your life the same way after you have kids as you did before. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. That’s a huge reason I’m not sure if I want to have a kid – I recognize that things will have to change and I’m really not sure I want that!
I’ll see your kids running through around a restaurant and raise you a baby walking on the table. Seriously, I went to dinner about a month ago at fairly nice Italian restaurant (the decor wasn’t fancy but we’re talking like $20 an entree so it was no McDonald’s) and these parents in a booth in the corner were walking their small child back and forth across the table. I just stared in disbelief.
I really can’t believe the stuff parents let their kids do in public and/or expect other people to be cool with. Any time I hear a kid screaming in a restaurant I think to myself how I’d just leave, mainly because I’d be so mortified. And I’m so with you on bringing your kids to places late in the evening/night. I’ve had parents bring their infants to 9PM movies and it’s just like…really?!
Oh wow, I would have been staring at that table too!! 🙂 That doesn’t seem safe either. I once saw a couple have their baby carrier on a wall that dropped off about 7 feet onto the roof below…I didn’t’ think that seemed safe either. Infants certainly don’t belong at movies, rude!!
hahahah I love this post. I don’t have kids and I understand that there a certain things I don’t understand and won’t understand until if / when I have kids. But I agree – letting kids run around and disrupt other patrons is just plain rude. It’s different if you’re on a flight – I don’t get mad at the crying baby. If I’m at Chik Fil A, I don’t get mad at the kids running by me to get to the playground. But if I’m at a pub, or a restaurant that I put on makeup to go to? I understand – again – that I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent and what I’m seeing is only a snippet of real life and could be a bad day.. but most of the time it’s not. My husband gets SO MAD when people have their kids order when they aren’t ready, lol. And oh my gosh that lady with her ‘cute’ baby. Hilarious! I think sometimes some parents use the ‘you don’t understand!’ to cover everything.
Yes, “you don’t understand” doesn’t cover just being rude 🙂 I love the definition of “did I put on make-up”!!! I think there is appropriate places to have your kids and inappropriate places.
I hate when parents think it’s okay for everyone else to be put out by their kids, like special dispensation should be made for them.
Don’t try to use the “you don’t know” card with me. I know for shit sure I would not let a child run around a restaurant. I’d leave before I chose that option.
Me too!! I would not let my kid scream for hours in a restaurant or run around in a restaurant. I think it’s just another side of being self-centered, extended to parenting.
When you have kids the only place you get to go for a while is Applebee’s and forget about the movies. And while it may be okay to drink beer while breastfeeding I don’t think I would do it simultaneously in public. I’ve heard it’s okay to have a glass of wine when you are preggo occasionally and if I chose to I’d probably save it for when I’m at home unless I really don’t care about being judged. I do feel bad for parents when their kids have tantrums in places like the grocery store or target.
You can always get a babysitter 🙂 I would not feel comfortable sitting in the middle of a bar breastfeeding…it’s just weird. I don’t have a problem with mom’s breastfeeding, but go somewhere a bit more private.
“Breastfeeding at a brewery while drinking beer.” My sister in law has done this. She is a doctor, and gave me a whole lecture how it takes hours for the beer to get processed into the breast milk – and literally told me – it’s not like her boob was connected to her stomach directly. So – even though it seems wrong, it isn’t – it’s just being judgmental – and I made the same judgement.
I have a kid – an 8 year old. I’ve never let him do any of the above as an infant. He has never ran around a restaurant… But, I have brought him to a brewery – I have had him at a fancy dinner past 730p – and I think that there is a type of parent that can do these things. One who is responsible for their child’s behavior. The ones who let their kids run a muck – no – those people make parents like me look badly. Just saying.
Also – I would never try to get compliments for how cute my kid is – in a crowded restaurant – it’s just crazy. Also – never ever would I tell strangers we were trying for another. I mean, maybe that mom hasn’t been around other adults in a long time – and just needed to talk to “big people”.
Yes, of course this doesn’t apply to all parents. Some people are much more responsible at the whole parenting thing than others 🙂 I think that woman was just a bit crazy in general, she probably would have been saying how great her hair looked if she didn’t’ have the kid 🙂
LOVE! This post definitely had me laughing and I confess that I feel the same way!
Good, I wanted it to be funny (obviously), glad it came across that way 🙂 Thanks Myla!
So much yes!!!
Thanks Bailie!! Are parents like this in Sweden?
Well Sweden is really a country geared for the raising of families so I would say there are very few places that people do not feel ok bringing kids with very little backlash. Also all places that serve alcohol in our town do not open till 4, even the sports bar with a full menu, so that cuts down on it. I am sure in a bigger city it might be more of an issue but out here in the hicks…
I can liken what you say there to having dogs in a way. Our life is not the same as it was before we got 2 (not 1, but 2) puppies in one year. I still try to draw comparisons and it doesn’t work. It was a dramatic lifestyle shift.
And, as a teacher, I can tell exactly how parents raise their kids. Kids are very transparent.
Very true. I had a cat before dating P, and it took me a little while to get adjusted to the we can’t just meet right after work b/c the dog needs to be taken care of first. Though the advantage of dogs is that you can leave them at home and go to dinner 🙂
i totally agree with all of these…i would also add: bringing a young toddler to a movie and then letting him scream the entire time. RAGE.
i really don’t understand why parents do some of this shit. they act like “it’s my child and i will do what i want!”. yes, you have a child, but no, you don’t have to bring your undisciplined asshole kid and unleash him on humanity for us to deal with. check yo’self!
as a parent, i judge the hell out of those other parents who do that shit.
OMG I would lose it, movies are expensive too!! I’m so glad that there are some parents like you Kathy…hope for humanity!!! 🙂