Firstly, yes I am married, and I’m so glad to be out of the dating pool, I don’t miss it. However, before I was happily married, I did go on my fair share of dates and thought I should pass along some of my sage advice 😛
- Check the tip your date leaves on dinner. I think this is a good indication of their character. Tipping appropriately shows that you are conscious of other’s hard work (waitstaff make jack outside of tips and should be compensated for their work), or tipping too low could show they are cheap (frankly I don’t want to spend my life pinching pennies and you shouldn’t go out if you can’t tip correctly). I would try to take a peek at the check to see the tip, if it was too low I would simply add a few dollars, but not say anything. Sure, this maybe isn’t a deal breaker, but for me it is a big indicator. Do they hold doors for others, say “thank you”, and other social niceties…tipping falls into this same category I’ve found. #tippingnotoptional #noscrubs
- Never meet a blind date for dinner, drinks only; give yourself the easy out. You don’t want to be stuck through a full meal with someone you know is not going to make the cut. Drinks make it short and simple, or if it is going well, drinks can lead to dinner. #exitstrategy
- Don’t be too narrow in your dating pool. I think a lot of people (both men and women) have too narrow of a criteria or they have this idea of a person, and they may be missing out. Now, I’m not saying just go after whoever and have no “criteria” just make sure you are not limiting yourself because of some “idea” you have in your head. If you like them, you like them, who cares if they aren’t x tall, have x color of hair, or dress in x way. I think going out and doing what you like to do, things you enjoy (not just going out to find a date) is the best way to find someone. Give people a chance, you don’t know if you are marrying them before the first date, don’t be too quick to dismiss people outside your “type”. #poorfashionistotallyfixable
- Life is not a Disney movie or an 80’s teen romance, most of the time guys are not going to do that big grand gesture. Look at the small things they do to show you they care. On the flip side of that, don’t get too vested in someone who doesn’t deserve it. If you are newly dating and they can’t make time for you or show you the same care and respect you show them, it’s time to look elsewhere. Dating longer is not going to fix someone being an ass. #donotkissdonkeys
- My biggest tip is just have fun and don’t take it too seriously! It’s hard when are in the trenches and you are a bridesmaid for the 12th time, but it is suppose to be fun. #yournextfirstdatemaybeyourlast
This post was inspired by a conversation I had with Shannon from Brass Honey, it has been sitting in my draft box forever 🙂
I’m joining in with Lauren from Genuinely Lauren for #Hashtaghumpday, hence the use of the #. Really I’m joining, because I love their button!! Schmidt!
And since it is Wednesday, we wear pink, we join Miriam for her link-up. Miriam would never make us all wear pink 🙂
Good luck out there ladies!! What tips would you add to the list?
I am thrilled to be out of the dating pool and I agree these are good tips. During some of my single and dating dates I was broke so a free meal was nice even if the guy didn’t work out. I never took the 2nd date/meal if I didn’t like them though! Now that would just be rude. LOL
I always felt so nervous going on first dates, I don’t miss those days one bit. It was too much of a gamble for me, especially after a few ones that were just weird and I knew pretty much right away. Drinks were less stressful 🙂
I am married as well but I totally agree with #2. I have one friend who was so particular that she is now nearing 40 and single. She never gave some guys a chance because they didn’t meet her ‘criteria’ and now she wonders why she can’t find anyone.
Yes, #2 is a good one!! It is so hard to listen to someone complain they never have dates, when they pass over so many potential dates because of a criteria they developed. At least give different people a chance!
The tipping is a huge thing I always look for. That and just how they treat the staff. I’ve worked for years in customer service and seeing someone not show basic courtesy is an instant no for me. I’ve never though much about first dates but doing coffee/drinks only is a great idea for the exit strategy…I know I’ve been stuck on a few that I wish would just end.
I’m so glad to hear I wasn’t the only one that checked the tipping! I think everyone should be required to do a stint in customer service, just to get some perspective.
I say this ALL the time. You can almost always tell the difference in attitude and entitlement by those who have and haven’t worked in customer service. It earns you a lot of perspective.
I swore by rule number 2 when I was single. Either we met for drinks or for coffee, that way if it sucked you had an easy out or it could easily be extended if need be.
Exactly, dinner can always follow drinks 🙂 Hope the new DC digs are working out great!
I definitely agree with the drinks (or coffee) only first blind date!!! It’s saved multiple times! And your comment about it not being a Disney movie is so true, but sometimes I just want it to be dang it!
I wouldn’t turn down any grand gestures 😉 Yes, limits on first dates are a must!!
these are some great tips 🙂 i’m obviously married as well, though honestly i don’t think i ever went on a date in my life haha. my husband is a fairly nice and polite person, especially with strangers. I used to be very blunt and what he considered a bit rude (but was normal for Sydney). anyway, when we met, he wasn’t a big tipper, he’d do the minimum (even though he worked in hospitality previously.. face palm!) but over the years he’s gotten better with tipping (he got sick of me adding a few dollars lol) and i’ve gotten better with my manners. i was never rude, in my opinion, just not kentucky nice. haha. anyway! longest comment ever.
You never went on a date?! I don’t believe that 🙂 I also don’t believe you were rude either 😉
I am married too and to be honest didn’t date a whoooole lot, but man do I ever agree with #3. My husband is nothing like what I assumed I would end up with. I thought for sure I was going to have someone tall, dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes, but I landed the complete opposite. My hubby is shorter than me, blonde hair, blue eyes, and extremely fair skin. But guess what, I love him more than I ever thought was possible.Don’t limit yourself ladies!
-Linds
Aww love that! Thanks for sharing your experience! I certainly never thought I would end up with a red head 🙂
I live in fear of being dumped by M! It’s true, just ask her how much I tried to tip at the wine bar :). Great post as per usual! I’ve got something coming out Saturday. Don’t have a heart attack. Xo
Never S!!! OMG….ok I just checked where is it!! Don’t tease me 🙂
It’s coming I promise. There was a small problem at work This morning, we lost a drone in the stadium. I’ll tell you all about it on Friday
haha great tips! 🙂 i am always telling my single friends to open up their pool a little more. it’s not settling just bc they don’t meet all your criteria. and a good marriage doesn’t happen just bc check off on paper.
Yes, yes…perfect way of putting it!! On paper does not equal good 🙂
Great tips!
Especially about the grand gesture. Life is not a book or a movie. Don’t be out looking for a character that does not exist.
So true, so true! I would rather have tons of everyday gestures than one big grand one 🙂
OMG yes!! I would have tipped for him. It’s not the waitress fault if they were out of something. Yes, if a date did not tip at all, he is out the door 🙂 People are so rude. Will do 🙂 You need to make a trip down and hang with us!!
I loved this tips even though I am already married because it can also be a good way to gauge new friends! Tipping was really hard for Fredrik to get used to when he came to the US I was always having to do it and sometimes he would get self conscious because I was always snatching up the bill.
I totally think that waitstaff should be paid a real wage. It’s complete bs especially when they get the blame and lack of tip, because of other factors outside of their control. Of course the cultural difference is different, than someone just being a bad tipper 🙂 It’s true many of these can be applied to friends too.
Hah, I’ve used #1 as sort of a measure of the character of a person/guy before. I hate it when people undertip! You go to a restaurant for service, so you should deifnitely pay for it. Of course, I might be biased because I was a waitress at one point in my life. And I couldn’t agree more with #3. It’s probably why the divorce rate is so high: people have a certain physical type they like, and they believe that physical attraction is so important that they eliminate over half of a population because someone isn’t physically their type. It’s a bit shallow, in my opinion. And I wish I thought about #2. I actually sat through an entire movie with a blind date I wasn’t clicking with! Ouch! -Jessica
I waitressed too, so I think that is what made me especially sensitive about tipping. It is shallow. Clearly you should be attracted to who you are with, but I think attraction goes beyond how they look on first glance. I remember in collage so many girls complaining about lack of dates, or they never date a nice guy, etc. I’m like maybe you should branch out on your type. Going on one date with someone does not mean you have to marry them. Yes, I learned #2 the hard way too 🙂
Ugh – I learned #2 the hard way in college. Longest dinner evvvvvvver.
Yes, I learned the hard way as well. I remember thinking omg he is ordering dessert, will this dinner never end. LOL.
yes, no. 2! first dates are scary enough as it is, #exitstrategies are always needed.
Must always have a way out!! I was always nervous on first dates, it’s so nerve-racking.
Omg… Yes to all of this. I have been burned by not clarifying that the date will be one drink for the first meeting. Ugh.. Not fun even if it is a free meal lol
I know!! A free meal is not worth it. I had one guy once give me a hard time about it. I was thinking be happy I’m sitting with you and having this drink. Like he went right in on it and was like, what are the rules, can I order something from the bar. I said order whatever you want, but I have dinner plans with friends later. I don’t remember if that was true or not, but I was not feeling the hard sell. Dating is hard 🙂
Great tips! I definitely agree on the narrow part-some of my friends have this huge checklist of everything they want in a guy that I’m pretty sure no one could fit.
Thanks Olya. I had friends who were or are similar. I think you should have standards, but some of the things they list are so arbitrary, I’m like come on. First of all, you never know who you might click with, fine they don’t make it past a first date, but don’t dismiss a guy because he chose the wrong shirt that day.
Great tips! I definitely checked on tipping when I was dating and the small things make a huge difference!
Glad I’m not the only one that did that 🙂 I’ve always said I would prefer someone who does things to show they appreciate me daily than do something big a few times a year.
Those hashtags tho. #poorfashionistotallyfixable I tip my hat to you, madam. I think it’s also important to let your previous relationships tell you what you do and don’t want, but to be cautious not to let previous SO’s good or bad qualities have too much influence on your perspective while dating.
Thank you Alicia! Yes, the hashtag post was a perfect fit for this 🙂 It was fun to come up with. SO TRUE, and especially to keep in mind the good and bad. That is a wonderful tip!