The Childfree Life Archives - Page 2 of 3

I would rather…

June 18, 2014 by Mariah 35 Comments

I read this post from Bailie and it got me thinking. Much like Bailie and Mr. H realized, P and I don’t hold the same goals and aspirations that are more commonly held by our peers. Of course many of our differences lie in the fact that we are not choosing to pursue having children, which I covered here and here. I know we would have a different lifestyle, goals, and aspirations, if kids were part of our future plans, but since they are not, we are free to live however we choose, and spend our money on different aspirations.

I don’t see us owning a house anytime soon. The only scenario where I would strongly consider it, would be if we decided to open our own local based business, than it would make sense. I like the flexibility of renting, of not being tied down with the mortgage, taxes, house maintenance and yard upkeep. If we want a change of scenery, we wait a year and pick a new place, we can try new neighborhoods or even new cities. If a new opportunity comes along it is much easier to say yes to moving when you can just pack and go without having to deal with the loose ends a house creates. Sure, I sometimes dream of being able to craft a house exactly to my liking, painting things crazy colors and customizing each kitchen cabinet, but my gypsy soul pulls holder. The world seems too big to settle in one spot for too long.

I would rather…

Have culture at my doorstep than a bonus room

Good public transportation than a double garage

Too many restaurants to choose from than a granite countertop

A view of the city than window treatments

Fine dining than extra square-feet

Just to be clear, I had already written the little “I would rather” part before reading Bailie’s post, so it was really funny when I read her post. Also, in case anyone points it out…I do currently have granite countertops, but I might not in the future and I’m ok with that.

It’s Wednesday, so we are linking-up with Kathy. Since we are confessing, I have one more: Feedly being down totally got me out of my reading routine. I had to just hit read and start fresh, but I’m back 🙂

The Reasons of Why

February 28, 2014 by Mariah 18 Comments

I think once you say you are choosing “child-free”, people want the why, or how do you know. The thing is, that is really hard for me to answer because there are a million and one reasons. Simple answer is having children is not something that I feel is needed in my life. I never grew-up thinking I would be a mom and I don’t feel that “urge” people describe. I’ve thought about it a lot and it’s not something I feel like I’m going to feel I’ve “missed out” on. It’s something P and I discussed long before marriage, and something we were and are on the same page about.

Having a kid is a life changing experience, it is something you better be sure of and it is something you better embrace 110%. While I think you can certainly raise a child making only minor changes to your life…I also feel like if you are taking that step with that as the plan then you are selfish. Your life should not be the same as it was before having a child, nor should you try to make it that way.

For me it’s the other parts of life that I would feel I’m missing out on, they have the stronger pull. I never want to feel like a child is holding me back from experiencing life to the fullest, because it is not fair to the child.

I would rather:

Explore the earth than set down roots
Learn than teach
Create than procreate
Have dinners for two than Mother’s Days
Travel on a whim than read bedtime stories

Can you do these things if you have kids? Absolutely, and you can do them without neglecting your children…that is not what I’m saying. To me, writing out the reasoning point by point feels false and arguable, like defending a standpoint and for me I don’t need to defend anything. It’s complex and simple, it’s selfish and selfless, it’s a belief and a choice.

Both having a child or not having a child is a leap of faith, it’s not a debate.

For more on being childfree see this and this. Also make sure to check out the “Childfree Are We” page for more bloggers and websites on the topic.

Want More on Being Childfree?

January 24, 2014 by Mariah 8 Comments

Happy Friday!! I’ve finally gotten a listing of childfree sites together. I’ve had so many great comments to my first post that addressed living childfree and feel very strongly about sharing this perspective. I tried to find blogs/websites that have been updated at least once in the last six months. For lifestyle blogs, I only included those bloggers who have addressed the childfree topic directly on their blog. My goal is to keep adding to this page and I hope it will grow. If you want to be added or have a blog you think should be on there, write a comment, or use any one of those other buttons to the right there.

NOW OFF TO THE PAGE WITH YOU!

–unless you don’t care about being childfree then just come back Sunday for my weekly food post or hey, look pictures of Paris 🙂

Where I Stand

January 10, 2014 by Mariah 8 Comments

I’ve been researching the whole childfree/DINK/no kids lifestyle. I’ve started to compile a list of other blogs and sites that address this non-traditional route. I’m only including ones that seem to be updated somewhat regularly and that are in my opinion not SUPER extreme (some are just out-and-out weird-yes I’m being judgy). Hopefully, I will complete that list soon for a post. This reading got me thinking and I would like to clarify a bit more on my personal take on the childfree topic.

I like to say that I’m on the middle ground of the childfree stance…and find posts that support my decision great but if they lean over to the bashing of others I feel it might be a bit overboard or harsh. The majority of more seemingly harsh posts are reactions to situations and comments and are understandable in they are expressing emotions. I have found a few that just go over the top on the issue. I for one would NEVER compare the childfree choice to the struggles faced by the gay population as one blog did. I’m sorry, yes we face some very awkward social interactions at times and maybe guilt or exclusion but no one is denying you legal rights. Just no.

I love humor and the tongue-in-cheek kind of posts…it’s a great way to address issues and differences. I think it is important to let others know that there is alternative choices and it is ok not to follow the parent ~~path~~ trap 🙂 (see what I did there).

As I mentioned in my first post about the childfree decision; we are the same in most aspects and yet we are still different. I came across this article on laundry/life and while she writes this from the perspective of a large family, and excludes those who do not have a ramble of children, despite not having children I still feel the exact same way sometimes. While there is only two of us it grows at an alarming rate…even if there is only one of you it still grows. This article provides a good example of why I want to provide an alternative perspective for those of us that don’t take the traditional route; just because we don’t have a ramble doesn’t mean we can’t be overwhelmed by the day-to-day of taking care of a house, being a good wife/husband/friend/whatever, or other life challenges.

The older you get the more you realize other people’s reactions are often less about you and more about them. In trying to express my views, I’m sure some people will take it the wrong way and that like laundry is also part of life.

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