As we are entering the holiday season, I thought I would address a question I was asked recently at a party: “What do DINKs do for the Holidays?”. Response: “We of course are taking our yacht to the Caribbean” (said in a very snotty voice). Well, I hate to disappoint you all, but we do pretty much what everyone else does — our own thing.

But since the question was posed, here are some things you will and will not find DINKs doing this Holiday Season:

WE ARE NOT:

1. Staying up until 3am putting together Barbie’s playhouse

2. Eating half a plate of cookies with milk at midnight (or maybe we are but for different reasons)

3. Mailing anything to the North Pole

3. Showing up on the local news fist-fighting over this year’s hot toy (is it still Elmo?)

4. Destroying the house and blaming it on the elf

5. Explaining to anyone how Santa can still find you even if you are traveling

WE ARE:

1. Buying presents and wrapping them for our pets

2. Sleeping past noon on Christmas because we can, we drank too much the night before, or… oh, because we can!

3. Eating at IHOP (or Waffle House) because we forgot to plan accordingly for Christmas day closures

4. Blaming the messy house and lack of decorations on the elf (I don’t have a tree because the elf stole it, all those empty wine glasses..that elf…damn him)

5. Buying really loud annoying toys for gifts

 

 

Of course, I cannot answer this question for the entire DINK-dome population because like everyone else we do what we do, and you do what you do. Some people are super-into the holidays and go all out like National Lampoons.  I on the other hand could take it or leave it. We have Christmas decorations that take up several boxes in the bedroom that I refer to as “the garage”, but these decorations have not been taken out of the box for the last three years. I guess we approach the holidays a bit differently because we don’t have to feel guilty for not following tradition or establishing a tradition for our children. For example, this year we agreed to no presents; instead we are buying a new mattress as our gift to each other…very exciting, right?! Next year we might do a trip…we might put up a tree…we might do a TV marathon…who knows. Now, before you feel too sorry for us and think we establish no traditions, let me share the few we have done each year:

• We watch “The Christmas Story” — at least twice so the second time I can say the lines along with it

• I read this section from David Sedaris’s book out loud…usually laughing so hard it defeats the whole purpose of reading out loud (now that I know there is this YouTube reading available maybe P will be spared my incoherent reading[unlikely])

• We buy  a nice bottle of something alcoholic, and open it Christmas Eve-this one may have been established to deal with the other two 🙂

So, cheers to you and your’s this Holiday season, however you decide to celebrate!